I saw it was the hospital number, and I thought it was Charlie calling to tell me he was there again.
It wasn't Charlie. It was a doctor, asking me if I knew Charlie. I said, "Yes". He asked what my relationship was to him, and I got scared. I told him I was his ex-wife, and that he listed me as an emergency contact because I lived the closest to him, and knew his medical history. I asked what was going on, and the doctor told me, "Mr Sedelmeyer passed away about twenty minutes ago." I'll never forget the doctor's voice.
He told me Charlie began to have difficulty breathing during his dialysis treatment. He started having chest pains, and the Dialysis Unit called an ambulance to take him to the hospital.
The Emergency Room was in the process of running tests, when he had a heart attack and they were unable to revive him.
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I hung up the phone, and cried. I had to call his dad. I didn't want to be the one to tell him...I didn't want to have to tell the boys either.
I turned off their alarm clocks and let them sleep. My mom came over to help me.
When they all three woke up (right around the same time) we all sat in the living room together. Michael knew something was up.
Matty sat in my lap.
I had spent most of the night googling "How to discuss the death of a parent with a child", and found loads of tips. I was so prepared...I knew exactly what I needed to say...I started by reminding them of how sick he had been lately. I told them he went to the hospital last night, and then no more words would come out of my mouth.
I knew what I was about to say would break their hearts...and my brain would not let me do it.
My mom stepped in and told them that he had died. We all cried.
When the tears stopped, we talked. My voice came back and I was able to be there for them. We talked about how it happened, we talked about what happens next, we talked about good things.
Matty drew a picture. He said, "This is my daddy, and this is the angel taking my daddy to heaven".
We will think about Charlie every day.
He left behind children who learned to care about people because of the example he set. Charlie never met a stranger...and never turned away an opportunity to give to others.
We will have memories of the time we spent with him forever, and our lives are better having been with him. He lived life large, and he had big dreams. And although we wish we had more time with him, we are comforted knowing he is no longer suffering.
The funeral service was very nice, and I believe in my heart that the boys were able to get closure and find peace with their loss. I know I did.
